Welcome to Your Future buy a Souvenir
by Lil Cosmo
Summary: The world's supply of Captain Crunch has disappeared! Meanwhile, Timmy's fate is in the hands of some strange teenage girl. Prepare for randomness!


**AN: Who's in the mood for a weird FOP fic? Cuz that's what this be . . . eh, is. This is basically purely random stuff.**

**Disclaimer: don't own FOP or Captain Crunch but both are yummy and nutritious.**

No one could believe the news. How could this be happening? This had to be the worst thing since Brittney and Kevin: Chaotic.

Captain Crunch had disappeared. Disappeared as in out of business. They just up and quit, leaving people to fight over the remaining boxes.

Children's screams filled the air as their favorite breakfast cereal no longer existed. Old Granny's mud wrestled in the open streets. The British quit drinking tea. The Norwegians sunbathed. And the Americans quit watching Reality TV.

Okay, so the Americans hadn't really changed. I'm getting a little carried away.

The fate of the world at these troubled times lay in the hands of one mortal. It was said, long ago, on last night's edition of MTV News that a pink hated warrior with terrible teeth would save the world, aided by nothing more than his mind and two magical strangers, one intelligent and maternal, the other dim and comical.

But where was this warrior? It wasn't like pink hatted warriors grew on trees, you know.

Timmy Turner sat in the tree, narrowly escaping the clutches of the evil Francis. 'Holy Hell, that guy's gonna straight up murder me.' Timmy thought.

"Timmy Turner!" The principal shouted up the tree. "What are you doing up there?"

"Uh," He had to think fast, lest he fall prey to his rather round principal, "Homework."

"Oh, well in that case you're fine," She smiled, convinced she'd finally injected knowledge into his skull.

Timmy wiggled out of the branches, getting almost to the ground before he fell flat on his face. Luckily he landed in mud, cushioning his fall. Unluckily, his backpack had ripped at the seams, sending all his fifty dollar textbooks in the mud.

"Come on!" He kicked one of the books in anger. What was wrong today? It was like the world was out to get him or something.

Feeling bored by school, Timmy abandoned his backpack and homework, heading for home. 'I was gonna fail anyway,' He reasoned, as there was a Calculus quiz that he hadn't studied for (calculus in fifth grade? Crocker's a Nazi!)

Meanwhile, Cosmo and Wanda were having their own problems.

"I told you, we're out of it." Wanda said for the millionth time, exasperated at how immature her husband was.

"But I'm hungry!" He whined with the intensity of a five year old girl. "What am I supposed to eat?"

"Something else," She stated obviously.

"What, I'm supposed to eat oatmeal or something? Sick! I can't just eat that stuff. It'll kill me."

"It will not, Drama Queen."

"I'm not a queen! I'm a man! And . . . is that nickel?" Cosmo, easily distracted, dropped on his hands and knees, staring at the coin with new found interest.

Wanda wondered briefly if he was ADD.

Timmy stormed in the room, mud now dried and caked on his clothes.

"God Timmy, Wanda just vacuumed this floor and you come in tracking dirt all over the place." Wanda glared at her husband. "What? You get to say it all the time."

"What're you doing home, sport?" She asked Timmy, ignoring her husband's antics, who was now rolling on his back.

"Today sucked!" He griped. "First, Crocker gives us this pop quiz on the history of history. Like I care! Then some weird high school guy was walking around all retarded and drunk and stuff and puked all over my shoes. Then Sanjay started hitting on me. I didn't even know he was gay! Then at recess, I had to show the foreign exchange students around. And they were all trying to kiss me too. And they were guys!"

"Wow, you must give off a pretty gay vibe. I sensed it the first time I met you. I said, 'Wow Wanda, this kid's probably a total fag.' I was right on!" Cosmo said.

Wanda slapped Cosmo sharply across the face. "Shut up!"

"Ow! Why'd you do that?"

"You know why."

"I thought honesty was the best policy."

Timmy continued, "Okay, so Francis starts chasing me around trying to kick my butt. And I climb up that tree. Then I fall in the mud, lose all my books, and come back here."

"That all happened today?" Wanda asked.

"Whoa, and it's only 10:00." Cosmo said in amazement. "That's better then my most sucktacular day. Except for everyday in high school . . . (lost in a flashback) Best years of my life, what a load of crap."

"Um, hello? We're talking about me here!" Timmy drew the attention to himself.

At that moment, as if cued by the ten year old's self centeredness, the windows exploded. Bits of glass showered the floor. Luckily, at that exact same moment, Cosmo had gotten off the floor so as to better check out the lining of the door frame.

"What was that?" Timmy freaked out.

At that moment, a rather young, frazzled looking fairy poofed in the room. "I just can't get that right . . . Oh, hey," She said when seeing Timmy Turner. "Uh, are you that Turner kid?"

"Yeah, what do you want? And what did you do?" He noticed the windows hadn't been the only things destroyed. His bed frame had collapsed, and anything glass (mirrors, picture frames, fishbowl, etc.) had shattered.

"Hey, I just got my license! It ain't my fault!" She folded her arms and pouted. A strand of bubble gum pink hair (a few shades brighter than Wanda's) fell in her face.

"Yeah, well you just destroyed my room."

"I'm gonna destroy your face if you don't get off my back!" She snapped.

Timmy backed away, slightly fearful.

"Oh wow, god, I'm so sorry. Today was just, like, the worst day ever."

Timmy stared at her, making her self conscience. "Who are you?"

"Oh. Yeah, that. I forgot you don't . . . well, duh, you've never met me . . . Um, so I'm Tabby. Like the cat. And, er, I'm here to help you with your future and . . . stuff."

"What are you talking about?"

Wanda understood immediately. "She's a fate consultant!"

"Right! And I'm here to help you with your fate and all that good stuff."

"Oh I understand. Just one question. What the heck is a fate consultant?"

Tabby talked monotonously, using an obviously prepared speech. She didn't pause or take any breath as she spoke. "Afateconsultanthelpshumansgetbackontrackwiththeirlivesastheyaremostlikelyendangeringthemselvesandotherswehelpyouchangeyourfuturebeforeyouevengettoit." She breathed deeply.

"Huh?"

"Look, kid, you're my first client. Basically, you're going to do something really fatal or stupid or, well I can't really tell you what you're going to do. But, well, it ain't good. So, well, either you trust me or you can screw your future up. Your choice."

"Um . . ." He still didn't understand.

Wanda broke in. "She's here to save your butt before it's even in danger."

"Uh huh."

Timmy rolled his eyes. "And I'm gonna believe this because . . ."

"Look, Timmy, if you don't rely me, basically your life is gonna suck majorly. What's not to believe? I'm magic, you're in trouble, and I'm helping you. Pro bono, I might add."

"Pro bono?" Timmy said to himself.

"For free," She said dully.

"I know what it means. Jeez, I saw Sam I Am."

"Oh what a great movie!" Cosmo cut in suddenly.

Everyone turned to him.

"What? Can't I enjoy an emotional movie starring a mentally handicapped man? Is there a law that says I can't?"

Everyone ignored him again. "So, I'm in trouble?"

"Eventually, yes. It's all very confusing."

"What do I do?"

Tabby bites her bottom lip, "Regulations state I'm not allowed to disclose hat information . . ."

"What do I do? What, do I become a psycho, axe welding homicidal maniac?"

"No, nothing like that."

"Well I wish I knew."

"No, you can't . . ." Tabby started.

Too late. There was no rule saying he couldn't wish to see his future, no matter how gruesome that future would be.

**AN: Oh no! What's wrong with Timmy's future? Who the heck is this Tabby chick? And what does any of this have to do with Captain Crunch? Stay tuned to find out!**


End file.
